Radar Claims Lindsay Lohan Does MDMA. Is Anyone Surprised By This?

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All this is coming from Radar, so take it with a line of coke grain of salt. According to Radar’s sources, Lindsay Lohan’s 1000000th stay in rehab, including mama Oprah and her voodoo, have not been able to get the crack head actress clean. Why? Probably because for her, drugs are freaking amazing. Why else would people do them? Sources close to her [read, made up people] are saying that she’s hooked on Ecstasy and Molly.

“Lindsay is of course still partying. She never won’t use drugs and drink,” a close pal told Radar.

What I want to know is, who said this sentence? It’s so poorly worded, ‘never won’t?’ come one now.

“Right now she is doing a lot of Ecstasy and Molly because with the psych meds she is on, if she is tested it will only show up as amphetamine, which is prescribed to her so it’s ‘safe.’”

Lohan reportedly takes meds such as Dilaudid, Ambien, Adderall, Zoloft, Trazodone and Nexium to treat psychiatric problems.

If it’s true that she uses her legitimate drugs to hide her illegitimate drug use, I have to say that she’s pretty smart. I mean, she’s like a master chemist, mixing shit in the back in order to get high. It’s incredible to me how some people are able to get so smart about certain things. Like, you get a lazy person and give them an impossible task, you will be amazed at how much effort they will spend to find the easiest way of doing the job.

Or, you can get a druggie and tell them to to find a way to get away with being on drugs. Just sit back and watch as Lindsay Lohan comes up with creative ways to get away with rolling on Molly.

“With her friends she just sort of laughs about sobriety. Everyone kind of just thinks she’s a joke now.”

I don’t know why this comes as a surprise, but people have been laughing at her for a long, long time now. Thank you for keeping us in stitches Linds – for that, we thank you.

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