Channing Tatum is GQ’s cover boy for whatever month is coming up next and it’s sort of an awesome interview. From working back to back to back — all the way to his childhood and what that was like. What’s fascinating is that people who have read the article are talking about Channing and his drinking, his craziness and what his life is like, but they are skipping the most important part of the whole damn interview, and that part is that Jonah Hill has to kiss the tip of Channing’s penis, because of a lost bet.
That is how Tatum came to voice a fanciful prediction: $35 million. This was ridiculous, oiled-up, magical over-optimism. “I just knew,” Hill explains to me, “for what we cost, if our opening weekend was above $30 million, we were a massive success.” Anything higher than that was unimaginable. And that is why Hill highlighted the absurdity of Tatum’s prediction by stating exactly what he would do if Tatum turned out to be right.
“I will kiss your tip! I will kiss the tip of your dick through your underwear if we make $35 million.”
“I will only say,” Hill tells me now, “that Channing and I say a lot of stupid stuff when we drink together.”
“I haven’t made him do it yet,” Tatum tells me. “For obvious reasons. That’s a bad bet to lose—it’s not too good to win, either. But definitely the shame of it would be enjoyable. It’s my trump card, for sure. He tries not to bring it up at all costs. Unless he did something horrible to me, I don’t know if I could ever cash it in. It would change our relationship forever.”
“It’s a lose-lose for both parties, I feel,” echoes Hill. “I’d have to clear it with Jenna.… There’s all sorts of loopholes that have to be taken into consideration.”
You wanna know how I know you’re gay? You’re willing to kiss the tip, even if it’s through the underwear.